Mommy Meltdowns

Every mother, from time to time, struggles with stress and frustration. Many have to also deal with anger and depression. I have been lucky enough not to have been affected by post-partum depression in the way that many women are. I am lucky to have God to guide me and to help me when things get too far out of my control. I am lucky to have a supportive husband who understands that sometimes things are just more than I can handle.

In the past two months, our situation has changed constantly, it seems. On the up side of the situation, Leo has begun a new job and it is going incredibly well. The pay is (slightly) higher than what he was making on unemployment. Papa Johns forfeited their appeal for unemployment but not being present at the hearing that they requested and it looks as though he will soon be confident moving onto a commission-based pay schedule. (Thank You, God, for answering my prayer!)

On the down side... Where do I begin?

It began with the fact that we have just been so far behind on all of our bills. That was months ago and we are still trying to play catch up. I am angry and frustrated and some days I feel as though things will never improve (and I lose my trust in God!). Then, when I least expected it, my past jumped up and bit me in the butt, resulting in my forgiveness post in this here blog. I wasn't sure how to handle that situation, to say the least!

Then we discover that there is something going on with my mother-in-law. We aren't sure precisely what except that she has a stress-related ulcer. This may be related to taking care of two pre-schoolers (our children) or it could be because her brother was very sick and recently passed away. We are (obviously) worried about the welfare of our children in her care and are working on determining our course of action.

Add to that the fact that Leo's child support increased on children he hasn't seen in four years due to the fact that his first wife is in violation of court order in two different ways (refusing visitation and having moved the children out of state without their father's permission).

The financial and emotional strain is enormous. Needless to say, we won't be trying to conceive until something changes. I'm hoping that the effort that we are both making will ultimately pay off, but I also am aware that this is going to take a great deal of time!